The idea started when my dad was having his hip replacement operation a day before I went on holiday to Egypt. Overcome by guilt, I felt the need to tell him what a great bloke he is, and what an outstanding role model he has been to me, So I wrote his eulogy on my laptop and gave it to him on paper, in an envelope, in the good old fashioned way.
My mom felt kinda left out, so I went ahead and did hers as well. She treasures hers, my dad’s probably lost his. My mom replied with a lovely little card, kinda returning the favour.
It struck me, why do we wait till folks are dead and can’t hear the nice things that are said about them at their funerals. Why don’t we go out of our way to say nice things about the folks in our lives, now, here, today? Because it just feels wierd. Somehow this has been knocked out of us by life, education, society, whatever. We all find it so easy to bitch, but not so comfortable to praise.
So I pushed myself out of my comfort zone some more, and started doing these compliments/eulogies/call them what you will, for my close friends. The wierd thing being that once you get over the initial feelings of discomfort, it’s a very uplifting thing to write, making you think of positive traits, examples to support from your shared story. So it just makes you feel bloody good as the writer.
However, it is even better to be the reader, receiver, recipient of such heartfelt praise. Partly because it is so unusual. Mainly because it affirms who you are as a person. We all need to be seen, understood, valued & cherished.
Loved, basically.
As Carl Sagan so eloquently put it, “For small creatures such as we the vastness is bearable only through love“